Basements

It's too late tonight to start, but my thoughts are on de-cluttering, especially the basement.  I want to simultaneously clean out my actual house basement and my brain basement. 
I have begun by contemplating just what's in my actual basement.  Honestly, the whole house has problems but the basement is the last place I want anyone to go in my house. It's a convenient most-of-the-time-out-of-sight place where stuff is stored or put when it just no longer fits upstairs.  It's where the dirty laundry goes and gets laundered.  And.. my basement has an odor... an I'm-not-quite-properly-heated, -de-humidified, -nor-thoroughly-cleaned-space odor. 
My brain basement is not terribly different in regard to storage: genetics, experiences/memories, emotions, habits, and beliefs all reside there.  Necessary life processing occurs there.
However, lack of adequate environmental controls can stench my brain, especially when it comes to habits, keeping emotions in check with reality, and letting some memories occupy more space and time than is useful or healthy. 
I'm not going to forget my past; but I'm not going to dwell on it either. 
Unlike boxes of college work or old magazine subscriptions, I can't recycle my memories and experiences.  But if I put my memories and experiences in an environment that is more sterile and free of judgment, only seeing them for what they are/were, I might be able to make clearer choices about how to live aspects of my life. 
On that note, I am in the process of making a very difficult but necessary mental health decision.  Out of self-respect, I am tempted to withdraw; to no longer put myself in a place where I have to deny my past because others cannot face it; to pretend all is well, when it certainly is not (how can it be with so much denial and lack of reconciliation?!); to be in the presence of my abuser and full of memory, anxiety, and worry for all children's safety. Worry leaves the question though, might I somehow be punishing myself by withdrawing, by excluding myself?  But no, that's just a lie to keep me where I am, keep me in a place I don't want to be... Denying the cut that was made, ignoring a wound that can't quite heal.
The worst and best part will be the declaration; declining a get-together unless certain terms can be agreed to.  I have no idea how this will turn out.  All I know is I cannot go on year after year this way.  I must embrace those that care and let go of those who don't/can't.